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We'll screw it up

by James Sherwood

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Not the official England song of the ICC World Cup 2019. Far from it.


We’ll screw it up,
We'll screw it up,
We will screw up
The whole World Cup.

Everyone’s convinced that it is England’s year this year,
We’re favourites, we don’t need to worry any more.
Forgive me if I slightly beg to differ on this one
Cos I’ve seen one or two World Cups before.

So I know
No one wants to fail, but still
One time, somehow, someone will.
I still find it hard to sleep
When I think of Gatting’s reverse sweep.

We can snatch defeat from out the jaws of victory
Cos every England player looks like Graeme Hick to me.
(Flat-track bully.)

England have the players, and the team’s on brilliant form
So, you’d have to say, on balance, that’s a plus.
When I hear, ‘Someone has to win it,” yes, of course, I know that’s true
But, believe me, that someone just won’t be us.

Cos I know
No one wants to fail, but still
One time, somehow, someone will.
One year we had it on a plate
Til we checked out Boycott’s strike rate.

We will fail again because I fervently believe
That Ben Stokes can be mutated into Dermot Reeve.
(Bits and pieces.)

Morgan, Buttler, Root, and Stokes,
Archer, Wood, Rashid, and Woakes

Bairstow, Ali, Plunkett, Roy
Vince, Dawson, and the older Curran boy.

Maybe England now will prove me wrong. Quite possibly.
So, how’s that for a bit of nice reverse psychology?


released May 31, 2019
Music by James Sherwood
Words by James Sherwood, with one phrase suggested by Emma John
All instruments and vocals by James Sherwood
Production (ahem) by James Sherwood


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