My name is Jeremy Corbyn and I approve this message.

For the country’s good
On election day
We need as few of you as possible
To vote for Theresa May

We’d love you to vote Labour
Ideally
But, as you’re not really buying that,
Here’s Plan B.

Vote UKIP, Vote UKIP
We don’t care why or how
If you’ve voted UKIP in the past,
For God’s sake don’t stop now.

If all the racists and loonies
Who thought Nigel was a dude
Now drift home to the Tories
Then Labour’s really screwed

So vote UKIP. Don’t vote with your brain
Use your cold hollow heart.
If you’ve never voted UKIP before
Now’s a great time to start.

If you hated Farage, fear not,
He’s not standing this June.
If you loved him, don’t worry,
Cos I’m sure he’ll be back soon.

Vote UKIP, Come on it’s not
Exactly rocket science
This’ll work much better than a
Progressive alliance.

Make a deal with Greens or LibDems
And you’re out on your ear.
But luring fruitcakes back to UKIP's
An impeccable idea.

We in Labour are the friends
Of the lowly and the small
But we know that quite a lot of you
Are not like that at all.

So if compassion and humanity
For you are a total no-go
Don’t vote Tory, put your cross next to
That lovely purple logo.

I know most of you don’t care for
What Labour is about
But if you could vote UKIP one more time
That would really help us out.

Thank you!

That was a party election broadcast on behalf of the Labour Party.